How your child’s sleep environment may inadvertently derail potty training success

What do cribs, sleep sacks, and pacifiers have in common? These common accessories can actually hold our little ones back from reaching their fullest potential when it comes to reaching potty training milestones. Before you get your hackles up, let me break it down.

Cribs:

The crib is the antithesis of autonomy. A major component of helping our little ones be successful in the entire potty training process is handing them more opportunities to be autonomous. Our children, even as young as toddlers, crave autonomy. Not only are all humans, as young as toddler age, biologically wired for autonomy, but autonomy is also the the antidote to difficult behavior. You know when your toddler is “acting out” or having a hard time? If all other needs (sleep, nutritious food, connection) are met, then this may be a cry for more autonomy. Involving them in chores is one of the best ways to make them feel purposeful, and when they feel purposeful they are less likely to feel bored and “act out.”

But, let’s return to the crib. The crib cages the child in, so even if they recognized their urge to pee or poop and wanted to do the right thing by taking themselves to the toilet autonomously (because once your child is about 24 months old, their desire for privacy also incrementally increases month over month), they would have no way of doing so without you physically having to remove them. The act of doing this can also inadvertently make them feel like a baby which sends a mixed signal because you likely may have told them something to the tune of “you’re a big boy/girl now, so you won’t be wearing diapers anymore!” So, are they a big boy/girl, or a baby in a crib?

I know what you may be thinking. How will you ensure your child is safe or confined to their sleep space if you transition them to a bed? What if you transition them to a bed too early? I’ve personally dealt with transitions to age-appropriate beds twice now with my two children, so I’d love to hear your specific concerns and challenges and help you come up with a plan that works for your entire family dynamic.

Sleep Sacks:

Less is more is the name of the game when it comes to potty training. Not to make you feel panicked (really, do not panic), however logistically, every second counts. Is it fair to our little ones to expect them to hold in their pee or poop once they scream out to us from their crib, in another room, zipped up in a sleep sack with their outfit on underneath that? By the time we unzip them, take them out of the crib, and head to the toilet, we’ve made it pretty easy for them to have an accident. I know it feels like everyone and their friends have a sleep sack, but hot take: you really don’t need to place your baby in one. I understand the appeal. They look cozy. Funny enough, despite never having used one with my firstborn, I actually did end up caving out of sheer curiosity and tried one a handful of times with my second, and I found it to be a waste of money and effort. It truly hinders getting the hang of potty training at all stages because they’re tedious to unzip. If you adjust the thermostat properly and dress your baby cozily enough, the sleep sack won’t make much of a difference. And let’s just say you find it does make a difference— like with all sleep accessories, there does come a time when it will be necessary to wean. The more minimalist we can be with the crutches we lean on in order to get our babies to sleep and stay asleep, the more flexibly and easily we can get them to sleep. So, take this as your call to reconsider the necessity of the sleep sack and how it may be adding extra, unnecessary time to get your child to the toilet before an accident occurs. Especially if your child is no longer an infant.

Pacifiers

This one is multi-pronged. Most pediatric dentists will actually advise to avoid pacifiers entirely; however, if your little one is using one, the recommendation in order to mitigate orofacial myofunctional issues is to gently wean between 6-12 months old.

Also, pacifiers may be common especially during car rides or to soothe to sleep, but they are not actually necessary for safety or development. There are other ways to co-regulate with our babies which do not have physical implications.

The issue mainly becomes whether a child is primarily reliant on a pacifier for daytime use. This can be a hot button, sensitive topic, however especially if a child is already walking and talking and has begun the potty training process, continued pacifier use can make the child feel like a baby. Again, this can feel confusing since babies are typically expected to poop and pee in a diaper, whereas “big kids” can go in the toilet.

There’s also the issue of speech and language. It’s much easier to encourage clear communication even if your little one may not have the words yet without a pacifier in their mouth.

I recommend weaning as gently and respectfully as possible. Pediatric airway dentist Dr. Nora Zaghi has great suggestions for this. Please do not poke a hole in your child’s pacifier.

Remember, potty training is not just about recognizing the urge to pee and poop and then walking to the toilet and magically getting our waste in their. It’s a multifaceted milestone which demands autonomy, privacy, self-awareness, mobility, and clear communication even if that communication isn’t in precise words just yet.

If you feel your little one’s sleep environment and accessories may be holding him or her back in the potty training realm, I’d love to help you!